and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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