Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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