theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
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