Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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