I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
