Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize