based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
