Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
