dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Barsexuality is the new black.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
