The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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