Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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