I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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