I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
