My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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