Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm at about main and main street
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize