Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm at about main and main street
How external is "for external use only"?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
