You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
