She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
