you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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