we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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