Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
i now understand why vodka
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
