Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize