I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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