I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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