Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
