I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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