That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
we're chasing vodka with high fives
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize