She said her name was "party"
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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