I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
