3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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