he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
