Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
