Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(316): View more from Kansas

I cut my penus on the lid.

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(714): View more from California

He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.

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(231): View more from Michigan

you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.

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(323): View more from California

Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.

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(661): View more from California

Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half

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(815): View more from Illinois

In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.

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(229): View more from Georgia

He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...

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(+61): View more from Australia

I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."

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(317): View more from Indiana

The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband

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