Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
