What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize