Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
