I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
