i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
