maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
