I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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