Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
