Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Let's get the cat blown out
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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