How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
