if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
