Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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