Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
