now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
