Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
