She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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