Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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