they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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