Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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