the new term for farting is butt boxing.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
