I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
