I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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