Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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