glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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