i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
