I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
