So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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