SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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