May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize