Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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