he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
