I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
