I molested 6 butterflies tonight
that's an acceptable place to lick
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize