but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
