I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
