We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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