walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
