the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
