Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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