They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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