No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
What a dumb baby whore.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
