I wannas sexs uuuuu
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
