And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I can't turn off my feet"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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